All good things must come to an end. And I believe this blog in its current conception has served its purpose. I have shared my story of trial and triumph and this Friday night I will achieve something I have always dreamed of, a world premiere of a film with a Q&A moderated by a good friend named Tim Druck whom I have a great deal of respect for both as a human being and artistically speaking as a musician.
As I’ve shared with everyone who has bothered to stumble across this blog I am a survivor childhood sex abuse and have travelled a long road in healing and recovery from a bipolar disorder diagnosis.
I’ve not always been at my best on this blog. Sometimes venting, other times simply sharing what I did, what it took, to travel that long winding road to mental health wellness and to make my dreams come true. I huge nod to the head to the Daniel of Letters to Daniel, Daniel Craig, whom without perhaps I would have never had the courage to write the kind of books I write and bust the glass ceiling of publishing and eventually the courage within myself to self-pub.
This Friday marks a culmination of a lot hard work and serendipity of dreams coming true. Winning an award for your work is one thing. Getting to speak about my healing process through the medium of film is something I never thought I would be in a position to do. Let alone do it in depth before an audience of my peers.
To say I’m excited is an understatement. To say I’m scared to death about facing that audience is also true. Every artist sees themselves in their work to some degree. This blog is my life in all its good and bad glory. The same with the film. I feel like I’m baring my soul in an effort to keep my sanity.
Daniel Craig, a few words about you. I don’t know you. You don’t know me. Chances are we will never cross paths. But the memoir and documentary I sent to your publicist are meant simply as thank you tokens for what your work has inspired in my own creative life. This blog was born as initially an open letter to you and to give me some sort of framework to make it easier for me to tell my story. Of the interviews I’ve seen or read with you, you strike me as an extremely private person. And for that reason alone I highly doubt I’ll ever meet you. This blog has misinterpreted on more than one occasion and its left me raw and angry at times. Essentially isn’t really about you at all. It’s about me and my journey. And it has been a long and arduous one.
I never expected the blog to take on the life that it has for me and for those it has touched or helped. And now with the biggest moment of my career before me I’m scared. Not in a bad way, but the film is so personal that I fear rejection of it will be a rejection of me. I simply have to let go and let what is meant to be happen.
So this week and Imaginarium Weekend is Letters to Daniel’s current incarnation’s swan song. I will be sure to post video of the Q&A and lots of pictures and possibly, if I’m blessed this way I will have video of maybe even an acceptance speech. But that’s getting ahead of myself and really if I don’t win that was never the point of this blog, memoir, or documentary. It has always been about sharing my story, getting better, and helping other people facing obstacles in their own lives.
And hence that is how Letters to Daniel will continue, with authors and readers and filmmakers all sharing their stories once a week to whomever they feel has helped them the most.
Thank you Daniel, Tony Acree, Lea Schizas, Frank Hall, Dave Mattingly, Delilah K Stephans, Stephen Zimmer, Mom, Dad, Aunt Debbie, Uncle Frank, Aunt Jan, Aunt Sue, and special shoutouts to my inner circle Pamela Turner and Missy Goodman. And therapists and nurses and psychiatrists I’ve had along the way. You all have, in your own ways saved my life and made my dreams come true.