I want to address something that perhaps every star, whether it’s in the acting community, or any other part of life that attracts gossips, sycophants, naysayers, or well, stalkers. I wanted to say if this blog makes you feel like I’m any of those things, then perhaps, this blog has missed its objective.
I think because of certain stories girls are fed as children it is expected of us to sit around and wait to be rescued. What I realized really early on was that in this culture something about made me ‘unlovable’ or at least ‘tainted’. I was no princess and no man was going to come rescue me. And that I had best figure out how to crack the fucking code and rescue my own damn self or I was going to die in the situation I was in.
Not to say that in my books that there wasn’t hero for my heroine. Yeah, I’ll admit it. I dreamt of a knight in his shining armor to come rescue me.
Mind you, I wasn’t delusional. I didn’t actually believe any of the actors I dreamt of coming to my aid in my books were going to realize that OMG there is the woman of my dreams living in the middle of BFE Kentucky whom I didn’t know even existed until right this very minute. Let me drop everything I’m doing right now and go save her.
The very notion is absolutely ludicrous. Insanity. And yet there are people who are going to read this blog and think that is the point of this blog. And there will be little I can do, if anything, to control that response.
It makes me sad to some degree. But more than that it kind of really pisses me off. But then, if I respond to them does that give them the right to attack me? Well, no. Trolls are just that. And if you don’t feed them they eventually starve themselves.
Here are the facts. Three years ago this month I signed my first publication contract for Another Way to Die. It went on to win 2 awards. I now have 5 books with MuseItUp Publishing. 6 with Hydra Publications. 4 with Blackwyrm. 15 with Hekate Press.
I have 9 books out. 4 of those are Amazon Bestsellers. I have garnered 7 Preditor & Editor Awards. 2 Moondance International Film Festival Awards. And 2 screenplay awards.
I have three successful blogs.
And I am producing an independent documentary. I am the hero of my own story as I have survived some tough shit. But everyone has tough shit they’ve gone through. I’m willing to guess that you as well as my other heroes have their own stories to tell. And that because I’m so open with my story there are going to be those who hate me for it.
It is inexplicable to me as to why. It doesn’t sting any less. But here is the reality to that. My life now, for all its ups and downs and fantastic and horribleness co-existing, is far better than any haters could be.
People who want to drag me down better have something better than some bullshit, idyll gossip and bitterness to try and do it with, because far bigger boegyman, and far uglier demons than them have gone that path and failed.
So in closing, thank you Lea for giving me my first big break as an author. And have a piece of United States cheesecake with me to celebrate that fact.
And whoever is reading this, no that no one, should you really want it, stand in your way when it comes to achieving your dream. Thanks again silent witnesses, as I do the countdown to this Saturday the 15th to whether or not Missy and I won with our television series treatment of Bella Morte. (And good luck to Pamela Turner in the same category!)