It’s the middle of Con season. Three separate awards ceremonies. Three vendor halls I’ll be seated at. Panels to be sat upon. Books to sell. A film to present. And waiting to hear back upon acceptance to five film festivals.
I’m waiting to hear back from my cover artist on the print version of Letters to Daniel print cover. Honestly I wanted them for Fandom Fest. Then do a huge launch at of Letters to Daniel Volume 2 at Imaginarium.
My plate is full to overflowing. I have 2 books coming out this summer. 2 novellas coming out this fall/winter. And I am writing on Land of Fire and Ash, an upmarket dystopian novel which I plan on submitting somewhere, and Life After Death: An Aurora Black Novel, the second in the continuing series after the bestselling BLACKOUT, the kickoff of the series, which continues to sell.
FILM-COM was mind blowing. But as great as all of this is until this morning I haven’t felt like myself. I felt like there was a hitch in my giddy-up so to speak. Which meant I wasn’t writing. Honestly, when I’m not writing I don’t feel well. I feel cranky and just plain ‘off’ and it makes me a bear to deal with. To borrow a term from Maurice Broaddus I grind on everyone around me. I don’t see it or feel it but they sure as hell do.
And let me just say sorry to everyone I came into contact with yesterday I was in a real FUCK YOU kind of mood. Irritable, the slightest thing setting me off. Today I’ve had plenty of sleep and woke-up at 5AM and have accomplished more like a normal schedule. One chapter each on two separate books. Now I’m working on the blog. And tonight I will be at Barnes & Noble working on the web soap series. Now that’s a day that makes everything seem good and right.
I feel like I accomplished something. I only wish I had the dues to pay for Toastmasters and I would start on getting over my fear of speaking in front of large groups. That way I could make money, distribute my film, and promote my memoir, all while advancing a cause that I care about very much, raising awareness of bipolar disorder and showing how you can come back from it.
Today I feel good, maybe I’m feeling a little bit up, a little hypomanic. I didn’t feel ten feet tall and bullet proof which would be an indication my medicine was off. I just feel happy. Good. Even.
Being creatively productive is the only way I stay sane. What looks crazy to some, the impressive workload, the insane release dates, is my rock. It’s what keeps me from going over the edge of mania. And when I’m depressed I know I can watch movies or television or hang with my friends.
Con season is great but it often messes in a big way with my writing routine. Right now I’m waiting to hear back from Zharmae Press and Mocha Memoirs on my Bella Morte books.
I’m waiting to hear back from money people, distribution people. It’s insane in my professional world but for a long time I was sick and could not function properly. But in these last 3 to 4 years my career has blossomed in a way I could have never imagined happening. And the screenwriting world where me and Missy work together opening up as well I couldn’t be more thrilled. Winning a contest is always a crapshoot anyway and to have our scripts and our film doing what they are is very sweet for us. After 17 years of friendship, battles, scrapes, and hard times our writing partnership bearing this kind of fruit is extra special.