The last few days I’ve run the gamut from angry to hurt to sad and depressed. And earlier this month I was absolutely joyful at being selected for Film-Com. But today I want to talk about someone who talked me down off the see-saw of should I go or shouldn’t I go to Nashville for Film-Com while dealing with a terrible kind of grief she and her family wasn’t ready for.
You see if you haven’t figured it out by now by following this blog, I’m a bit of a bull in a china shop. If I want something I tend to put my head down and go for it and I don’t look up until I get it done.
Barbara Ehrentreu recently lost her husband. I sat virtual shiva with her online not that long ago. I was going back and forth on Film-Com. Whether to go. Whether to go for a few days. Or not at all.
At the point I was talking to her to offer her comfort she offered some advice to me. She said I needed to find a way to go. That opportunities like these didn’t come along all the time and as an official selection I got a laminate that not only got me in but paid for my booth.
I had been at a point where I had decided not to go and was angry and depressed, not just with me but with Missy whom I felt like was sandbagging my efforts to go. (Which honestly we just move at different speeds on some things sometimes. She can cherry pick. I’m more of an all or nothing girl.)
Barbara encouraged me to do what I could do. Go for a day at least. So I started gathering up a head of steam and what went from one day went to two went to three and now is the full four day and three night experience.
Her, in the throes of grief had been kind and compassionate enough to set me on this path. It is easy to see now that Missy wasn’t sandbagging anything, but simply stating what she was and wasn’t willing to do in order to go. Which in all fairness was what I needed to respect.
But Barbara has always been a kind and generous soul. She’s had me on her blogtalk radio show more than once when I was launching a book. And while everyone is always eager to unburden themselves on someone else, myself included, Barbara was commended by several in the shiva for the kindness, guidance, and compassion she has often shown others.
She is a shining example of what a good and decent human being is. And what good they can do even when they are despairing.
Another person I’d like to talk about today is Pamela Turner, trouble shooter, and Letters to Daniel savior extraordinaire.
We couldn’t figure out why the movie would not burn correctly. Somehow she figured it out and the film is awesome! I am excited and can’t wait for the movie to screen at Imaginarium but Film-Com has me nervous. But in a good way. Thanks to Barbara and Pam I’m heading to Film-Com with my film.
Of course lest we forget Missy, who’s been the Rock of Gibraltar the whole time holding me firmly by the ankles so that I don’t float off into the clouds of mania. Spin like a top right of the table.
But my prayers and many thanks go out to Barbara who deserves the kind of joy and peace that come from being loved and lifted up in a such a time of need. If you can keep checking in on Barbara. The grief doesn’t just ‘go away’ once the funeral is over and the crowds go home. Often times that’s when it’s the hardest.