All of what I have accomplished as been without an agent or an assistant or any of the crap they tell you that you have to have in order to be viewed as successful. But my life is beginning to feel as if it is on a race track. And while I’m not even viewed on the Z list I know that I have things that agents or publishers would find desirable. Namely I get out there, I get seen, and I work hard every day either writing, promoting madly or both.
Now, I have to admit, there’s a certain level of comfort that comes with promoting online. There’s a level of perceived anonymity that comes from sitting behind a monitor, you’re only link to society a keyboard and wherever your thoughts may take you.
Some people think this blog is nothing but an exercise in self-promotion. But the reality is this is where I come to lay my thoughts bare. To confess my soul’s torment, happiness, triumphs and defeats. It’s my safe place so to speak where I can say what I want, how I want, when I want. It’s a place to heal and learn from. It’s my true north when it comes to writing.
But the conventions are harder. Because even though I yearn to take part in all of them the closer I get to them the more anxious I get. I have to gear myself up for all the people and selling of the books I have to do. Smile, be personable, be happy. Make sure I don’t run myself into the ground before the 3 days are over.
Not that I don’t have a great time. Not that I don’t make fantastic connections. Make friends. Sell my pants off. It’s just the anxiety will press on me. And by the end of the weekend I am drained and crabby and just want to be left the hell alone.
Not because the people bother me personally. Honestly, it’s the readers and the impulse buyers who make going to these things such a joy. Seeing familiar faces, having something new to offer them is always fun.
It’s just my energy runs low and I need someone taking care of me. Which is why I finally decided to breakdown and query agents. I’ve sent the first batch out. Ten to be exact. I wish to be a hybrid author. Although at the rate New York is going I wonder if it’s a dinosaur going the way of the bricks and mortar bookstores.
I think it’s a smart step though. I write screenplays and teleplays and as you know (not really you, but the people who are reading this blog know) this blog has become something of a beast I need help containing.
An agent is needed to help me organize. Today has been productive but not in the sense I want it to be. I want to be writing on the second book in the AURORA BLACK series. I have fun writing those kinds of books. And on this one I get to write a little romance in it.
But the agent for my book series I’m looking at now is the Bella Morte series. I’m not sure I pitched it right to everyone. But then it was four or five o’clock in the morning. It was good that I did it when I needed to do what I considered the boring stuff. Because honestly I think my career, if I really want it to step up into the next level, I need a little bit of help.