Thursday, June 13, 2013

Dear Daniel

Dear Daniel,

I think I can say truly, without reservation, you are a fucking genius NOT to be on social media. I am not famous. I don’t have a lot of money. So Social Media is the main way I promote and communicate with my readership. But there are perils to it as I’ve learned very recently. Someone, as I have related, I believed was a friend will not stop attempting to contact me. And frankly, apart from the emotional drain it has put on me, I’ve had to block them on every social media outlet I’m on. They texted me negative messages about my long time friends. I had to block their phone number to my phone.

Friends have told me if this behavior continues I need to contact the police. Please, at this point, allow me to take a moment to say, this blog is more about me telling my memoirs than it is about anything else. I picked you, as a hero of mine to frame the blog in. I hope I never make any actor/director/writer/novelist/artist of any kind feel the way I feel right now.

I have a book signing this Saturday and they are going to be there. Part of me is like, I can’t let the state of fear they’ve got me keep me from being able to function in my profession. And the other part of me is like, stay home, hide do not do anything to rock the boat.
Not that what I’m experiencing is anything like what someone like say, you, would experience at all. But for the last few days I’ve had knots in my stomach. I haven’t been able to write much and I have several deadlines.

It’s odd being in this situation. I would have never thought I would find myself in a position where I wanted to retreat from the world because of something like this.

I don’t think they realize what kind of position they’re putting me in. I’ve had several friends tell me I need to call the authorities. But I just want it to stop. So far today I haven’t heard from them. So I’m going to take it a little bit at a time. Unfortunately this blog, where I’ve felt relatively safe to express myself in the past I know they could very easily follow me that way.

I don’t like the paranoia they’ve managed to stir up in me. It makes me cranky, hell, it makes me  a class A bitch to everyone else around me. And that’s not fair to them.

But the nice thing is I’ve written this blog over the course of two days. I’m starting to feel safer. To feel better. But there’s that little part of me that thinks Saturday is looming and I shouldn’t have to feel awkward or fearful at all. The nice thing is, I’ll be getting there with a good friend earlier than this other person and I can hang with some of the nicer people who are a part of one of my publisher’s.

I’m looking forward to clearing the deck of my work. And there seems to be so much of it. Four books, three I’m juggling, one that I need to write and a screenplay adaptation. I know a lot of people would envy that mess but I stress out and I had this person saying hurry up, hurry up, hurry up. And now it seems it that I will simply wilt under the pressure.

And taking on too much is a mistake. I should’ve ignored this person. They gave me some incredibly bad advice and I just followed them like some kind of automaton. But if I sit down and make things in a linear fashion I might be able to finish my projects afterall.

So right now I’ll be working on GEMINI’S LEGACY until it’s done. Then WHEN DOVES CRY. Then BELLA MORTE: SACRIFICE. Then GEMINI’S REVENGE. Then the screenplay adaptation. I am going to finish This all by the end of the year.

I just have to pace myself. My mental health depends on it. I’m not a lazy person by any stretch of the imagination. I just have to take care of myself. And that includes shielding myself from undesirable situations. As such I’m bringing my Aunt to Fandom Fest. She can run the table and keep unwanted persons away from me.

This is my Aunt Debbie. She’s my ‘tornado shelter’ relative. And while my family is far from perfect, my biological father and his side could give a shit about me anymore, and my parents are often controlling themselves, I know if I say back off or do something to put a boundary down they aren’t going to react violently.

I don’t know this person that well at all. Just two things, don’t ever let anyone talk you into creating a social media presence. Second, I hope I never make anyone feel the way I’ve been made to feel the last few days. And if I do that to you please let me know, that is not the point of this blog.


Amy McCorkle

No comments:

Post a Comment