Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Dear Daniel

Dear Daniel,

I took some time yesterday to relax and heal up from last week’s turmoil. The situations have resolved themselves. Both to my satisfaction. I was able to save a twenty year friendship with one and able to co-exist professionally with the other.

There are people who helped me who haven’t been mentioned on the blog or in the letters not because I don’t recognize what they’ve done for me, but because in some ways I wish to keep that part of my life private. And while I want to take this chance to thank everyone who has ever helped me in whole or in part, I want those who live out of state to know sometimes your distance from me simply puts you out of my frame of reference from time to time. Kind of, out of sight out of mind. But that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate all the wonderful things my friends have done for me.

It’s just when people are less than positive in how they approach me I get angry, defensive. I think sometimes they mean one thing but their words say something else entirely. But a twenty-year friendship isn’t something I let go by the wayside so easily. And I love those involved. (Not romantically, the only thing I love with a passion is my writing time. Not even the career. The actual act of writing.)
I don’t have a lot of friends, and to throw the ones who’ve, yes, proven themselves to be there for me at times emotionally when others haven’t well, one misunderstanding isn’t worth throwing the baby out with the bath water.

There aren’t many to celebrate with. And they won’t be able to come for the awards ceremony of Fright Night but they will be someone I call and tell first thing. Although, this may be a place where I come and jump up and down and squeal if my miracle of miracles I win.

One thing I’m super hyped about is this marketing director position. To be honest I’m a little nervous. It’s a lot of work. I don’t do anything halfway and I don’t want this job to be any less so. I really like and respect my boss and co-owner and I’m excited that my best friend is on board too. It’s something apparently I’m good at and I hope to do the owner and founder proud by the work I do.

And by taking the time off that I did yesterday I think I’m going to get a ton done today. Which is awesome. Finding balance is so hard for me. I tend to burn the candle at both ends and then something bad happens and I crash and burn. I plan on doing some marketing work for all of my houses today. Some simple things like sharing my covers for Hydra and Muse. And some more extensive work for the new house. And looking to list my Bounty Hunter book on some free sites for a July 15th and 16th giveaway my publisher has planned.

I’m really proud of the time taken off yesterday. Even if it only was four hours. I ate dinner out and hung out with my best friend, Missy and it was just a nice relaxing evening until about nine. Then I wrote  and at ten I watched the Nanny with my mom.

I know, exciting, right? I like it when my life is uneventful. The most exciting I want it to get is when positive, fun, loving things happen in my life. Like finaling in contests, or maybe even going far enough in the competition to win. Like signing contracts for books I’ve written. Or seeing them in print and fan mail or a positive review.

Something last week definitely brought home. You can never be humble enough, or happy enough when dealing with success at any level.

And as for those who don’t understand. Or are bitter  and jealous and want to lay into you, or perhaps even want to ride on your coat tails of success. As much as I say HATERS ARE MOTIVATORS, I know there is nothing I can do to control that particular element of the reading and writing population. All that I can do is control how I react.

I know as alone as I feel sometimes there are those out there who make it better. Who do things to help ease the pathway of struggle. But it’s still hard. And I’ve been through a lot in my life. Which makes the success I’m experiencing now all that much sweeter. The fact I get to share it with my friends makes it all that much better.


Amy McCorkle

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