Monday, May 27, 2013
The journey of a million miles, right? You were quoted once on how you handle your career and I thought it was brilliant. Not because of some abject hero worship thing but because it was fucking true. When asked about your agent’s other clients to said something to the effect you didn’t concern yourself with that shit. And to be honest I laughed because you can’t concern yourself with keeping up with those around you. If you do you’ll never be satisfied and you might run the risk of bitterness and some serious sour grapes.
That doesn’t mean I don’t reach with one hand to pull a friend up in their career while I’m reaching up to advance mine. It just means the only competition I’m really having is with myself. Unless of course you’re talking about film festivals. Then I’m just happy to land on the board. But I won’t lie. I love to win.
I’ve always loved to win. But this hasn’t really had anything to do with the people around me. It hasn’t been the I must beat you personally kind of thing. It was always more of the I need that trophy/certificate/medal/plaque/medal kind of thing because I’m so damn competitive. The only thing where is more about the work and not about purely winning was in Young Authors.
When I was thirteen in 1989. And yes, I’m carbon dating myself to some degree here, I wrote a story called A Candle In the Dark when I was thirteen years old. I had no idea who the Bielski Brothers were and my story was set in France. But it told the tale of a young woman leading people through the woods and the French Underground to safety. There was a loves story. A strong, tough, lonely girl. An understanding guy. And high stakes drama unfolding around them. Sound familiar lol. I won Young Authors, I was very proud.
My current projects unfold around a similar theme. Gemini’s Legacy is book 2 in the Gemini Rising Trilogy. It centers around themes of family Mother/Daughter, Father/Daughter. But then all of my work seems to.
But THE LAST WARRIOR: SWEET SACRIFICE is about a young woman (a 14 year old girl) who escapes a post apocalyptic enslavement in order to exact a blood soaked vendetta only to discover everything she has ever known is a lie. There are paranormal elements, and the theme of family runs strong throughout.
It’s an 8 book epic that follows her as she grows from a teenage girl into womanhood. It’s a violent tale and in some ways is very adult. But the sex and romance doesn’t even surface until around book 3 or 4. But there romantic notions. Such as dying for what you believe in. Kamikaze moments. I suppose in the sense the whole series is romantic. I’m a pantster as opposed to a plotter so I’m not even sure my heroine makes it out alive. But I’m not afraid to kill characters off if the it serves the story to do so.
And those two stories are the ones I’m most passionate about, there is a third book I wish to finish. When Doves Cry is a mob epic about two sisters who are the only survivors of a mob hit on their family. What makes this story important to me is that Missy and I have been working on it for
I love the fact I’m busier than I’ve ever been. I love the fact I can say I’m an award winning author. I love the fact I can say I’m multi-published. But I feel like it’s the height in arrogance to say it too long and too loud. I’m blessed to be doing this at all, let alone be successful at it.
I worry that those around me will doubt themselves in the face of what I’m doing as opposed to being inspired by it. As opposed to me, I’m inspired by others success. It makes me feel like I can do it to. They’ve traveled the road then why can’t I?
I have terrific team supporting me. My cover artist, Delilah K. Stephans, my content editor Tanja Cilia, my line editor Greta Gunselman and formatters who I will say nothing about because I’m not sure they want to be mentioned. And my cheerleaders Missy Goodman and several other friends who know who they are who are there for me in a time of need. Those less glamorous moments when I am at less than my best.
These people, perhaps I don’t thank them enough, but I hope they know, I love them dearly as family and friends. Even the family who are far from perfect. They have done wonderful things for me to. Mom, Dad (John), are you listening? I know there’s the chance they might read this blog and take away from it I’m a whiny brat who doesn’t appreciate the good that they do. Nothing could be further from the truth. I just wish I could protect myself a little better when they run cold and hurt me.