Dear Daniel Craig,
I need to tell you something. If I’ve learned anything over the years it’s that people let you down. Depressing, right? I was taught early on I was more likely to find my heroes in books and film and the theater than I was in real life. But as hard as my life was I don’t want to paint a lopsided picture. As bad as it was where it came to my biological father, his family (with the exception of his sister and her family), and his network of cop and marine buddies, my mother and stepdad, whom I call dad were at the other end of the spectrum. Most of the time.
The worst thing I can say about my mom is that she probably suffers from the same disease that I do and bipolar disorder can make you one unstable human being without treatment, and as warm and loving as she was while growing up, I never quite knew which mother I was going to get. But for all her flaws I never doubted once that she or my dad (stepdad) loved me.
I don’t have this thing about my alcoholic father’s behavior being my mother’s fault. Mom is an early childhood education public school teacher. My dad (stepdad) went back to school later in life and went to law school to become a public defender. Neither of these jobs pay like say, wealthy person’s salary, and when I told them I wanted to become an author my dad said you can be like John Grisham, a lawyer and a writer lol.
What I wanted was to be an author and to be involved with the movies. I had no idea how to do either so I just wrote, everyday. I even wrote a screenplay when I was seventeen years old. It was baaaad. Soooo bad. I think I burned it, it was so bad, lol. My mother was a teacher and she believed getting your education. So went to college. 900 miles away from home. And I promptly experienced a continuation of mania. Homesickness. And the inability to sleep. The only thing I did of note was have my first serious relationship, and write on my first attempt at a novel. And get addicted to soap operas.
And because I was in two different zones? I watched them all.
I took a creative writing course too for poetry. And it was dark. All of it sooo dark. But Dr. Oldknow was so awesome. And he taught me a lot about how to write. So I guess it wasn’t a total wash.
I saw a lot of bad movies too. A forgettable Charlie Sheen movie, a female centered western called Bad Girls, which is really unintentionally funny. But anyway, I digress.
Daniel, I can count on one hand how many men have shown me love and kindness. And even they can break my heart, my stepdad, and an uncle. My stepdad would take me and my sisters to the library every weekend. My uncle and my aunt would pop popcorn and fill a large paper grocery bag with it and take me to the drive in (yes drive in) and we would sit in lawn chairs and in the summer time and watch the latest blockbuster.
I didn’t get to this point in my life alone. But I see a lot of them in you in some ways. In the few interviews I’ve seen with you, you seem intensely private and protective of your friends and loved ones. And since I feel about as unprotected as a babe in the woods I find that to be a highly admirable quality. And it gives me hope that someone out there will one day be protective of me.
There is so much to grateful for in my life right now. And I have to say the success I’ve received over the last few years has given me the kind of confidence to believe other parts of my life will eventually iron themselves out. And whenever I doubt that I just pop in a movie of yours and I watch it. I think you hit a homerun every time out even if the film isn’t perfect. And my personal favorite is Cowboys & Aliens. (It’s the geek in me). Again Fandom Fest is in July, so just in case hell does freeze over, you and your family are invited to attend.